It is also much easier to understand
- July 29th, 2010
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It is also much easier to understand and sympathize with another person when you are not undertaking the messy task of living with each other.
The trap
The trap here is equating feeling understood with love. I?ve had many people caught in this trap believe this relationship was meant to be based solely on feeling understood.
Now do not get me wrong or mishear me here. Feeling understood by another person is a wonderful feeling. It is part of an intimate relationship. Feeling understood by someone else can make us feel alive, supported, accepted, and well, normal.
This is part of the seduction of an emotional affair. The new person has not experienced the side of you that has contributed to the problems in your primary relationship.
One of the reasons that I encourage my ?four seasons approach? in new relationships is that if you give a new relationship a year (four seasons) before deciding that this is the one, you each have a long enough chance to see each other in the light of the messy reality of living with and seeing a person each day.
I?ve seen way too many people make life changing decisions based on the illusion of feeling understood.
I recommend that you do not tear apart your current life based on the illusions of an emotional affair.
Visit www.YourEmotionalAffiar.com for brand new information on how to avoid and/or recover from an emotional affair, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring..
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